Hunter Hayes has a song on the radio that induces my manic state: “I want crazy.”
Yes! Yes, I do. Ah, he’s speaking my language. How many times have I been told that I’m nuts or insane or crazy for the things I pursue. And I laugh because it’s all given with lightheartedness and even admiration at times. But this manic side, this side of me that gets a little crazed and aims for the improbable, is a very real part of who I am and it brings meaning and fulfillment to my life.
While Hunter is referring to romantic love (he’s young, we’ll give him a break), if we generalize his song lyrics to a broader life motto, I wonder how many of us have that level of desire? Do we reach for something “crazy” in our lives?
Or, do we more often sell ourselves short? Do we settle for what’s “reasonable”?
This is a delicate line for me. To walk the tightrope between reaching for the things I’m passionate about, and crossing into the place in which other aspects of my life suffer, is a daily challenge. Yet, I crave the crazy. I confront the reasonable. I want to grab hold of life and soak in all it has to offer. I think we all do to some degree.
First, I need to own that perhaps this idea of reaching for crazy is based on a privileged position. “The American dream” right? To reach beyond our circumstances, to rise above and do what we or others did not think possible. Some goals and passions may require certain resources, opportunities, and freedoms that may not be available to all.
But maybe not. I’ve certainly seen this desire, this passion and energy, in multiple circumstances. I’ve heard countless stories of people across the world reaching for more, taking risks, and achieving their victories with full hearts and big smiles. People who we couldn’t predict would surpass their situations. But, they do and that inspires and motivates me. Those stories move us. We cannot help but feel good and smile ourselves. I crave that boldness and courage for my own life; to overcome fears and improve the quality of life for others and myself.
To clarify, the type of crazy I’m talking about is not a long list of respected accomplishments. It does not necessarily involve accomplishment at all, especially as it is so narrowly defined. No, the type of crazy that speaks to me is when I embrace a desire within me, when I hear a voice saying, “wouldn’t that be great” and it feels congruent to who I am and what I want to stand for.
And I get tempted to turn away and ignore that voice. I miss a week at the gym and give up for several months. I avoid reaching out to a friend…what do I have to offer anyway? I think many of us can relate. We let that project sit because we feel overwhelmed or discouraged, not believing we can really accomplish it anyhow or that it will be any good when completed. We hold back on sharing ideas because we’re not experts or couldn’t possibly have anything worthwhile to contribute.
And there is usually some truth to it. We all have our challenges, our weaknesses, and even our limitations. We are “only” human after all and we must come to terms with that. We must “embrace our limits” as a professor of mine would remind us.
However, here’s the error I’m liable to make. I stop right there. In my experiences, it seems that we embody one of two methods of dealing with the boundaries of being human. Either we (a) believe we are incapable of anything more or do not possess the ability to strive for something we want; or (b) we believe we should be able to do everything, but get let down often enough when we can’t that we totally give up on trying. If I cannot do it perfectly, I’m not going to do it at all. We all do it. In fact, we sometimes embody both methods of being, vacillating between the two depending on the day or situation.
But, here’s the mysterious part…my paradox. When I truly own my limitations, I also understand my incredible potential. I strive to step beyond the doubt and reach for what I know is possible. I think my professor left out the most important part. Don’t simply embrace your limits. Forget that. I say, know your limits, and then fully embrace your potential.
When we grasp what we cannot do, we are then free to capitalize on that which we are capable of doing. And there is of course a balance. We cannot do everything and when we try to, something suffers. I know that struggle very well. I knew that there was no way for me to be a mom and a graduate student in a PhD program without the help and support of others; without making some sacrifices and doing some things in which I’m not comfortable or confident. But, I knew it was possible and believe it to be something I’m meant to do. So, I seek out what I need and I move forward with faith and the courage I can muster. I also cannot simply run a half marathon with natural skill or quality I somehow possess. I need time. I need encouragement. But, I can do it; I want to do it. So, I begin training.
We all have the struggles and obstacles in our lives that can hinder us from taking bold steps towards that which transforms us in beautiful ways. But, human potential knows very few boundaries. And within those boundaries, we have the opportunity to contribute to a beautiful existence, to be an inspiration to others around us.
So, get on with it! Reach for the crazy because you know you can. Be honest about your limits, and then take that next step towards your potential. Make the phone call. Start that document. Take a class. Seek out that which brings you joy and victory. What gets you excited? What’s your next adventure? I’d love to hear all about your crazy.
“Do not dilute the truth of your potential. We often convince ourselves that we cannot change, that we cannot overcome the circumstances of our lives. That is simply not true. You have been blessed with immeasurable power to make positive changes in your life. But you can’t just wish it, you can’t just hope it, you can’t just want it… you have to LIVE it, BE it, DO it.” ― Steve Maraboli